I realize now that I should have known better. I should have remembered that when it comes to Christian discourse, all forms of dramatic irony, metaphor, bathos, puns, parody, litotes and satire are to be left to the Piranha brothers.

I'm referring to the concerned comments about my satirical little parable on crime, justice and responsibility from last Friday. I had hoped that readers would see that like most parables, it was hyperbolic and had but one simple target: the increasingly absurd trend in our culture to absolve the individual of responsibility for the consequences of law-breaking, and to blame the authorities instead (in this case, the police, for being so irresponsible as to enforce the law).

Mind you, I was not offended by any of the responses, including those that suggested that by even imagining murder, I was being less than godly. But I was disappointed that some of our readers were unable to grasp the genre and point of the piece.

Perhaps I can console myself by wondering if Jesus ever got the same reaction. I can certainly imagine it. He's just told one of his blistering parables, or used one of his intensely memorable illustrations, perhaps this one: “Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea” (Matt 18:5-6).

And out of the corner of his eye, Jesus sees one of the wider circle of his disciples approaching him with a worried look on his face.

“Master”, says the disciple. “I'm hesitant to raise this, but there was something in that last illustration of yours that I found concerning. It's the millstone language. I just thought that it was a rather insensitive image to use. You might not know this, but there have been several drownings in this area in the last 12 months, and what if one of those people who have lost loved ones had been listening today?”

Jesus looks at the ground and draws a shape with his toe. The disciple, gaining confidence from Jesus' silence, goes on.

“But actually, Master, there was something that I found even more alarming. You seemed to be suggesting that some form of extreme and bizarre corporal punishment, involving agricultural equipment and seawater, was an appropriate response to those who have a negative impact on the faith of others. Now, I'm the first to admit that causing someone else to behave in a less than Christian way is a real problem, and should be approached with the utmost seriousness. But I really don't see how it could be gracious or Christian to suggest that such a person be executed.”

Jesus stopped drawing with his toe, looked sadly at the disciple and walked away. The disciple looked down at the shape Jesus had drawn in the dirt. It was the unmistakeable outline of a raspberry.

Oh no, I've done it again. Sorry everyone. I can't seem to help myself. Please ignore the last six paragraphs. What I meant to say was simply this: different forms of communication, including humour, hyperbole, parable, parody and satire, are part of God's good gift of language. They can be found throughout the Bible, especially on the lips of the prophets and of Jesus. Let's not be afraid to use them, and let's learn to recognize them and read them appropriately.

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