Last week we heard the call for men to take up responsibility for their own growth and their family's growth. This week we get into some of the practicalities.

Models to avoid

There are two general models of men's groups that are inadequate and misleading for Christian men.

1. The therapy model

The promoters of the men's movement in our community work on the assumption that the masculine soul is sick and needs therapy. Men are seen to be insecure and unfulfilled because they are restless seekers. We are driven by an incurable ego that feeds on the esteem of other men as we compete for that woman, job, car or physique. And that's our positive side!

There is a truth in this. Men are ultimately the perpetrators of much of the suffering of our world, whether it be war, domestic violence, crime or any form of oppressive use of power.

However, the therapy model does not get to the root problem of man's sin and the divine remedy of the cross of Christ. No amount of sharing our feelings, getting in touch with our masculine side or male bonding will produce godly servants who lead their churches and families to heaven.

2. The accountability model

A popular form of men's groups is to be accountable to each other to keep a set of rules or commitments. There are a number of ‘how to’ manuals for Christian men. They promise to sort out men's problems by defining the principles and boundaries of life, and are appealing because they offer simple solutions to complex lives. If we not only read the manual, but someone checks up on our performance, this is a powerful motivation.

But motivation is the problem. In the end, the reason for godly living is not the grace of Christ in the gospel, but the weekly accountability session. The fear of men replaces the fear of God. Such groups, after a while, can operate without any reference to the gospel and, in fact, distort Christianity into legalism (Col 2:20-23).

Models to adopt

There are many ways to run men's groups. Here are three suggestions, including a specific Bible study tool.

1. Prayer groups

Men need to come together for prayer and so give leadership in prayer. We need to train ourselves as prayer warriors.

2. Theological study

Instead of dropping out of in-depth Bible study and theological reading as the years progress, men need an ongoing programme that gives them a hunger for the knowledge of God and equips them for leadership. There are excellent Bible study resources and correspondence courses that men can do in groups together.

3. Reality check

Below is a new Bible study tool being developed with men in mind. The concept is that men need a constantly renewed vision of Christ. Caught up in the affairs of this world, only the word of God can give us a true perspective, drawing back the curtain, to reveal what is real (“things above”), the Son of God ruling the world and calling to himself a holy people. Without the word of God, we get locked into ‘false’ realities—the ‘earthly things’ of ambition, greed and self-indulgence.

By regaining a fresh vision of Christ through his word, what is real to us in this world takes on new meaning. In each facet, we are to be his holy people.

‘Reality check’ has several strengths:

• It gets men reading the Bible and praying together
• It shows men how to apply the Bible to their particular issues
• It prevents men's groups becoming ‘problem’-centered rather than ‘Bible’-centred
• It can be used for men meeting one-to-one or in groups.
• It is a ‘template’ for use with any portion of the Bible.
• It can be used with or without preparation
• It can help men use their limited time efficiently.

There are potential weaknesses to avoid:

• It does not replace detailed in-depth Bible study
• Instead of working at understanding the Bible, we might only look for solutions to life's problems. In doing so, we use rather than obey the Bible.

Reality check

Bible passage:

Date:

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. (Col 3:1-2)

1. What is real to me this week?

• Rate the week 1-10 (worst to best)
• What dominates my horizon?
• What do I wake up thinking about?
• What am I trying to achieve?
• What is different from last week?

2. What is real?

1. What is the main idea of the passage?
2. What are the connections with the surrounding verses?
3. What does this part of God's Word say about:
   • God
   • Christ
   • Humanity
   • God's saving work
   • Response to God
   • Relating to Others
   • The future
   • Other

3. What is real in the world?

What would people at work say about these realities from God's word?

4. Because God's word is reality ...

In which of these areas should I change my thinking and behaviour? (NB you won't always find applications in every area of life.)

• God
• family
• work
• money and possessions
• leisure
• goals
• other Christians
• friends and contacts
• personal struggles

5. Prayer for each other

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